I guess this blog post should have been done a lot earlier but as I've mentioned in the proposal video, it just felt very silly to write a love story that was ongoing.
So 3 months earlier, when Mike told me to go choose a ring design, I was actually pretty elated but just didn't say anything coz I wanted to also keep the engagement a surprise! Also partially coz I think if he ended up not proposing it would be like embarrassment of the year or something.
After the proposal, it is time to reveal all about how we met, fell in love, and overcame obstacles to come where we are: An ending of just being in a relationship; the beginning of a new chapter where we become husband and wife.
As usual with most of my good fortunes, all I have to thank for it is my awesome blog. God bless the internet, Pyra labs for creating blogger.com, and my boredom that day when I decided to write on xiaxue.blogspot.com.
Some day in August 2005, Mike stumbled across my blog. Randomly. He was apparently googling for something but till today he refused to say what he was googling for ("I really forgot!"), which makes me highly suspicious that it is either something pervertic ("Is it normal to want to fuck horses?"), or something gay ("How to curl my hair like Pamela Anderson").
I don't want to sound like a self-obsessed bitch, but these are Mike's own words about his feelings when he stumbled upon my blog...
He said he literally had an epiphany and his heart stopped for a second. He was entralled by my (photoshopped) photos and he thought that he HAD to have this girl.
Seriously, I wanna sound romantic too but even I think he seems a bit siao. But then again I obviously cannot see my own appeal lah *ahem sometimes*.
I honestly never had that sorts of moments in my life but maybe Mike's a prophet or something... He said that the only other time in his life he ever felt so strongly like he should do something was when his friend T passed away.
This is a sad story but Mike had a really strong urge to call T that day even though they were not in close contact... He felt like he just had to make that call. T's cell phone was off and Mike even called his family... Next day he found that T committed suicide close to the time Mike wanted to call him. Mike's intuition is so scary!
So after that initial liking to my virtual me, Mike decided to send me an email.
I lost that mail since my email got hacked, but the contents were really quite funny and it was Mike trying to convince me that short girls are more likeable than tall ones...
He intrigued me, and what's more, there was a photo attached to the email!
Normally I ignore emails from men, but I thought I'd give this one a chance and write back... So I asked him if that's a real picture of him!
He replied in the affirmative. So I added him on msn! Why not, if I didn't like him I can block him at anytime... Somemore he is in the USA, so far away!
Initially I spoke to Mike only when I'm up awake at night during ungodly hours when no Singaporeans are awake to chat with me... I didn't speak to him often, maybe once every few days?
He was shy and dared not always initiate a chat. He was scared that I thought he was irritating.
Unbeknownst to the cruel me, it used to always make his day whenever I did speak to him...
Because he was so far away and had no mutual friends with me, it was so easy to spill out secrets to him.
One day, he asked me what I was doing and I said I was blogging... Not on my usual blog but a private one. Politely, he asked me if he could have the password and I said yes. Why not? Who can he tell my secrets to?
But because Mike was so far away, so unattainable, so impossible, after a while I decided to stop chatting with him and even blocked him on MSN.
Unfortunately, I was still blogging on my private blog... About dating guy C.
And Mike read it all.
How I was so infatuated with guy C, how he is oh-so-cute, sexacapes and all.
It angered and hurt him a lot because he felt so helpless when he liked me so much.
Dumbest mistake of my life to let him have the password...
Meanwhile, Mike also moved on to dating other girls (urgh!), and in order to piss me off, he even put that girl's pic on his MSN profile!
Out of interest, I unblocked him and asked him about her. He is so spiteful and even filled me in with all their sexual nonsense ok!
A month passed and dating C was a mistake, so I started more actively talking to Mike again... Weirdly enough, I've never tried to see him on webcam before, and so I did, for the first time.
AND HE IS DAMN CUTE LAH!!!!!!!!!
I mean up till that day I still had suspicions that his pic was fake! I even remember Shuyin staying over one night and I asked him to turn on his webcam and she agreed he is cute!
After about 2 months of chatting with Mike, he said he'd love to come to Singapore for a visit... So I replied,
"Why not? Come and I'd bring you around!"
I didn't know this at that time, but for Mike to actually ask this question it took him a lot of courage. Being someone with rather low self-esteem, he thought he was going to get rejected... And besides, he was still studying in university at this point and was superbly poor!
So tickets were bought for a visit to Singapore for $3,000 USD, including a stay at Albert Court Hotel for 7 days, about 2 months later on March 09, 2006. This was all the savings he had in his bank account.
Meanwhile... I know I sound like a terrible person but I went on another date, this time with guy S. Just one date. No sex. Just to be clear, I was NOT cheating because Mike and I were not in a relationship.
That night, Mike tried calling me multiple times and I didn't pick up. When I got back home and saw him on msn, he asked me where I went. I (think I) honestly told him I went out with S. He asked if anything happened... I knew he liked me I couldn't bear to hurt him, so I said no.
At this point he was studying in USA and had no plans to come to Singapore to be with me, nor me him. We were friends, although I knew Mike liked me. I just chose to pretend I didn't know. I had a crush on S long before I knew Mike, and I guess I felt I shouldn't reject S for a stranger thousands of miles away whom I had no chance with.
And yes, I wrote of S on that private blog and Mike read it all. AGAIN! He didn't mention this to me. Damn sneaky!
After that one-time incident with S which developed into nothing, I started being much closer to Mike... We started chatting every day... Those chats turned into SMSes, which turned into phone calls...
Soon we were behaving like a real couple, except that none of us were acknowledging it... (And of course he ended things with that dumbass girl he posted as his profile pic, long ago)
The day of his arrival was pushing closer!
Still, the Mike in USA didn't tell anyone, family or friends, of his crazy decision to visit me in Sg.
He knew that everyone would think he is really dumb and persuade him not to go, probably warn him that I'm a money-grubbing bitch who will rob him blind. He even told his mom he was going to Mexico! But for goodness knows what reason, he made up his mind to come, and he did...
March 09, 2006: I remember anxiously waiting for his arrival at Changi Airport.
I felt so nervous and was so scared I was just trembling all over. What if he smells terrible?? What if, close to, he has pulsating zits and really bad breath?? What if he is a fucking psychopath??
I was so nervous that before he came I even dreamt he was a mass-murdering lumberjack instead of a college student like he claimed.
And there he was... Meeting the girl of his dreams for the first time after a good 5 months... Maybe patience and unwavering determination does pay off.
Mike was carrying a backpack, dressed in a polo tee and jeans, no styling of his hair whatsoever - geeky as can be but pretty normal and no zits, hives, bad smells or std sores as far as I can see!
He moment he saw me, he held on to my hand. It was still pretty awkward, afterall it WAS the first time we ever met each other, but I didn't let go. The bugger got even bolder. We went into a lift on the way to the cab stand, and he kissed me!! Long and hard!
Well I guess things got less awkward after that... :)
For the next 7 days, we accompanied each other everywhere we went. I stay over at Albert Court with him every night. Sure we fought (mostly me getting annoyed), but there was something different.
He was so dissimilar to all the guys I've ever dated, be it race, or cultural or character, but we still got along fab.
And NEVER in my life have I ever encountered anyone so infatuated with me.
It's all very flattering but a bit scary at the same time.
Everytime I turn to look at him, he'd already be looking at me. When we dine, he would insist on not sitting opposite me but beside me, because he wants to be close to me. During the rare moments where I look at him and he isn't looking at me, he'd be smiling vaguely to himself, apparently very pleased with dunno what.
Now obviously Mike is not like this anymore lor! I wish he was still so impassioned!
I guess he was behaving like that coz he thought that after those 7 days, he might never see me again, so he had to treasure every moment of it - drink his fill of looking at me, touching me...
March 14, 2006: I brought Mike back home in the afternoon when I knew my mom wouldn't be home - coz I needed to blog!
I remember him lying on my bed as he suddenly revealed to me that he knew I went on a date with S...
Shocked and totally humiliated, I asked him how he knew and he said that long ago I did give him the password to my private blog...
He said he knew but he still wanted to come to Singapore anyway. Anything for a chance to be with me. I felt so guilty I almost died, seriously.
But I also said, in my defence, we were not in a relationship then. And actually, we were not even in a relationship now!
Mike replied that he thought we were, so I said, "Well, you never asked, so I thought you didn't want commitment!"
And so, that was the day he asked me to be his girlfriend, immortalised in a blog entry here. :)
March 21, 2006: It was time for Mike to leave, and I wrote him a letter to be opened on the plane.
Side story: Lied to Momo everyday for 5 days when I stayed over at Albert Court... Told her I was at a chalet!! My bro was at home when Mike came over and he bao tohed me! Told my mom got one mysterious angmoh came over! So I had no choice but to bring Mike home to see Momo!
She was furious with me for meeting a weird stranger and was convinced Mike is going to murder me.
Another 2 months passed, and I missed him like crazy, so this time, I decided to go to USA where we could both tour LA and Vegas during his summer break.
When I first broached the idea to Momo, she went completely berserk and told me absolutely no. She said USA is very dangerous for a girl to go alone and she didn't even trust Mike!
She was certain I was going to be shot at, mugged, sold to Thailand as prostitute etc.
We had one of our biggest disagreements ever, but still, I put down $2k for air tickets and hotels...
Hotels not included...
It was a lot of money and both Mike and I were utterly poor, but we did it anyway!
Wah why we so gung-ho ah? I was just 21 at that time lor! Plus he could break up with me anytime and leave me alone in USA! The thought still scares me a bit.
But tickets were bought... And I flew off May 13, 2006... we had one of the best times of our lives touring both LA and vegas, then returning to Texas to meet his family!
Another 3 months of not meeting each other... LDR sucks balls. While your friends are out with their boyfriends, nobody is there to accompany you. Nobody to cuddle you when you are ill.
Phone calls are expensive and unstable. No sex. But well, endured it, and here Mike was again, August 09, 2006 till August 28, 2006!!
Poor thing... I had to film for Girls Out Loud during his trip and he just tagged along, bored to death!! Love him so much omg.
September 19, 2006: Couldn't spend his birthday with him, so I drew a card...
Yes my nickname is bunny you may laugh now
Very funny right the naked chick?? I copied it from a naughty computer font I downloaded. LOL!!
November 13, 2006: Bought another ticket to USA to spend thanksgiving with Mike and his family.
By this time we were crazily in love but could only see each other once in such a long while. I don't know how I survived back then considering now I cannot let him out of my sight for more than 8 hours (work and back, thanks) nowadays!
It was beginning to feel very strained... What is going to happen? When will Mike graduate (even he is not sure coz he didn't know how many modules he could take and whether he could pass them all, etc)? What is going to happen to our future?
With all these uncertainties, we could only continue our relentless and expensive plow forward with faith that everything will turn out ok.
My self-drawn itinerary for the 30hr journey...
In Mike's grandma's huge house near a lake...
Letter from Mike's mom, sweetest mother-in-law one could ever ask for.
FINALLY!! Mike was about to graduate from school!! I think he ended around February and scheduled to come to Singapore to stay during March, but I couldn't wait for it so I forced him to come during January 2007.
He had no money so lao niang paid for his air ticket. $2,000 ok!!!
It was a pretty short trip. He just came, kissed me a bit, and went back to the states to settle his stuff... Say goodbye to his friends and family.
It was the decision of a lifetime... Staying to work in USA, or seek his fortunes across the world in Singapore?
I can't even imagine how scary is it to be Mike. Fresh out of college, no money in the bank, no place to live in (he had a rented house near college and lease ended).
And yet, instead of applying for a job in Houston like most of his engineering friends did, he dropped everything that was ever important to him and flew all the way to Singapore to be with me.
That was priority 1, everything else just had to work itself out.
And so, packing a few choice belongings, Mike bought a one-way ticket to Singapore... For me.
Ok lah fine it's not a one-way ticket. The return was for Dec when we would go back for Xmas. But one-way sounds more adventurous mah!
I'm not gonna mince words... Life was shitty for Mike when he first came!
He had to stay at my lousy Teban Gardens house in a tiny room with me, squashed in a supersingle sized mattress!
AND I HAD NO AIR CON!!
Although for his sake I did buy one in the end lah...
Still... There was only one toilet and and it is always smelly coz Cloudy pees and shits in there. He had no privacy and no space, something which he is very used to in USA...
But other than shitty accomodation we had another more pressing problem...
Mike couldn't get a job.
Money was running low (last time I didn't earn so much coz Nuffnang has not existed) and both of us were getting more and more anxious.
Every single day at 8am my poor baby would wake up and travel to various engineering companies with resumes in hand.
Since before he came to Singapore he already started handing out resumes electronically but had no replies...
Every day he comes back looking exhausted, disappointed, and worse of all, scared.
If he worked in Houston, which he definitely could with his degree, he'd have gotten the equivalent of maybe S$6,000 for his starting pay, easily.
Yet all the engineering firms here were offering $2k-$3k for engineering starting positions...
As we grew more and more jaded each day, I started wondering if it was utterly selfish of me to force him to come here by my refusal to budge from my own country. Afterall I had my career, family, and friends here... I really didn't want to move to USA. I don't even have a degree and I'm pretty sure I'd end up being a waitress there.
I was also terrified that after giving up my life, he'd leave me. Yes. I wanted insurance and I AM selfish. Much more selfish than the man who gave up everything to be with me.
Maybe he'd have a better life if we broke up and he went back to USA to work. You know, get a good American girl and settle down with her. He can be near his family... Maybe it's time to let go and stop forcing it.
So I voiced this out, and Mike just hushed me. Still he relentlessly sent out resumes... I was so desperate I asked EVERYONE around me to make recommendations... Still nothing.
Many worrisome days later, Mike finally got an interview!!
AND HE GOT THE JOB!!!
Not only that, his pay was good!! Ok lah I won't say how much but it's more or less like what he would get in USA. LOL
We were so goddamn happy!!
There was only one problem... His work place in at Loyang and he is staying at Teban with me!
Everyday, he would take a cab to work ($25), and take the bus-MRT-bus route back from... From Pasir Ris to Jurong.
(Can you believe my good fortune to get such an awesome guy??)
Suffering aside, it was stupid to pay $25 per day for transport, so it was time for us to move out.
Mid April, 2007 - We moved into a friend's house which has an empty master bedroom... Just in transition for till we get somewhere truly ours for 2 years... a condo called Loyang Valley!!
August, 2007 - Contract signed... 2 year lease for our condo... AND MOVED IN!!! Mike is going nowhere for 2 years woohoo!!!
We bought a new bed together, a new sofa, and I spent $7,000 in Ikea that year. I also don't know what I spent that crazy amount on. -_-
September 19, 2008 - On his birthday Mike said he'd marry me if I baked Chocolate Lava cake for him so I did...
The recipe I wrote down was just on the kitchen table and unbeknownst to me, the sneaky bugger kept it... Found this in his memorabilia box together with the plane tickets etc...
And so time passed... Everything else in between you have read on the blog... Our adventures in Bintan, Bali, Hongkong... Xmas in USA every year...
We moved to yet another condo (nicer than previous, only $100 more!), and he even bought a new car...
Laopokasaurus has 6 years left on her COE so I guess he is going nowhere for the next 6 years!
December 11, 2009
Has it really been more than 4 years since that crazy email??
I've never been happier than I am right now. Never more loved, more appreciated, and more at peace with the world!
We have come such a long way from being separated by copious amounts of sea and being unsure, scared, and anxious to where we are now... Comfortable, contented and best of all, secure.
So I guess, in a sense, fairytales do come true - and dammit we worked hard for it! - although I've never realised it because it was so gradual. And of course there are no short Asian blondes as fairytale leads lah...
I know there are many single girls out there who must be envious to death of this (very long-winded) story, but take heart!
I was single for 4 years before meeting Mike! Every guy I dated before that were complete assholes and commitment phobes. I had my heart broken again and again and my self esteem was ridiculously low! Even after Mike flew to Sg for the first time I thought he would turn out to be one of them, which was why I never assumed he wanted commitment. :)
So if you would like advice, I'd say go for the unassuming geek (or perhaps not so suave guy) who only has eyes for you, and give him a chance! Stop loving bad boys right now! Unless you are the sort who likes relationship drama/cheater/lying bitch etc then please don't date the good guys and turn them cynical, thank you very much.
Everything here was written by me, but I feel that Mike's angle of the love story seems a lot more adventurous and exciting...
So I'd leave you with a love letter he wrote for me on March 14, 2008:
Can't believe I wrote such a long entry when he summarized it so succinctly.
p/s: Reason why we have those ticket stubs and love letters is because we both have memorabilia boxes for each other! Mine is much cleaner than his though. His has a gstring that I wore and like empty chocolate boxes -_-