2003-06-05

I just watched Bruce Almighty yesterday night and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.

I dun understand why some ppl say it is just okie-funny. I think itz hilarious.

There was this scene...

I'm gonna say it so if u haven watched it and u are planning to watch it, skip this part.

where Bruce was trying to test to see if God was God.

God said: "Do not tempt the lord (or something)" but he still agreed to the challenge.

Bruce put his fingers behind his back and stuck out a random amount of fingers to ask God what the numbers were. God rapidly gave him the correct answers everytime.

Bruce stuck out 2 fingers on one hand and 5 on the other. When God was abt to say "7", he quickly kept the 2 fingers on his left hand. leaving only 5 fingers behind his back.

"7."

"AHA!!!" He very hao lian-ly proceeded to show God his right hand and shook it ard a bit, till he discovered he got 7 fingers on his right hand!!! WAHAHHAHAHHAHA...

Anyway, I was just thinking a little about what I would do if I was god for a week.

- Make the sky a baby pink colour. I am sick of the blue.

- Reverse the human mind to think that Shorties are the beautiful. Hey wait thats playing with Free will. Okie I will make everyone supermodel height so that supermodels are no longer special and all the shorter ppl will be supermodels. The shorter u are, the more ppl will gasp and say, "Wow, she is so short!" (In a envying way u cok.)

You all should know that it takes as much talent to be short as to be tall.

Which is about NO talent at all.

- Repair the hole in the Ozone layer and make the maximum temperature in the world 30 degrees. Itz getting too hot recently.

- Make menstrual blood transparent. There is absolutely no reason for it to be red except to disgust males and embarrass little girls and make us spend more money on tampons. Which is too bloody (weak pun not intended) expensive anyway.

Speaking of useless things, I will make them all disappear too. You will discover ur appendix, wisdom teeth, moles, foreskin, tonsils all gone.

Not to mention armpit, pubic, and extra long nose hair.

- Sex being enjoyable is making the world turn into a horrible place, with incest, beastiality and such. From now on, volunteering and helping ppl would be far more pleasurable than sex. Have fun seeing all the perverts start rushing to help blind men cross the road. The blind man may be soaked all over with semen, but heck, thats a better use for it than being in the pervert's step daugther's mouth.

The same machanism God installed in other animals shall be installed in humans. We all noe that only dolphins and humans enjoy sex but it seems like every other animal is still having sex, except giant pandas of course. And I think that Pandas shld all die for all the trouble we go to make them give birth.

Which brings me to the next thing I will do.

- All endangered animals shall just go to animal heaven unless they are very cute and furry or have some sort of medical use. In my opinion, its too much money and efforts gone to save these animals. Humans around the world are angry and upset over stuff that the Chinese do. (Itz always the Chinese isnt it?)

Angry with ppl eating sharks fin? No more sharks for u all. Anyway sharks are not very important to anyone, except to itz parasites, which now can stick to whales.

The loss of the proboscis monkey is not anyone's concern. Its picture has traumatized us enough in all the stupid MRT stations. Do u think the proboscis monkey's dying will affect you? Did the silly dodo bird's dying affect you?



Do not think that I am cruel. Convince urself that animals dying means God wants them. They are all going to animal heaven if they are good. A good male proboscis monkey will have alot of beautiful (I hardly can imagine) female proboscis monkeys feeding him grapes. While riding on a elephant, if he likes that sort of thing.

I had always had the theory that the fittest survive. Unless these animals are being constantly bullied by humans, they are just not capable of living in this world by themselves. They thus shld either evolve into better animals, or die off and save themselves (and us) the trouble.

When I was in sec 2, we had one of those little group discussions on surviving in an island thingy when the airplane crashed.

There was a doctor, a mum with a little gal, an old lady with an injured leg, and you. Food and clothes were only enough for 3 ppl to last in the ice cold island till a searchboat comes.

There were only a group of guys in my class since the majority of the class is made up of gals. The gals all gave the same answers, which is to divide the clothes and food to give more to the old lady and little gal and the rest sacrifice a bit and try to catch fish.

The guys immediately suggested killing the old lady.

When asked by the shocked teacher why they decided to do that, my male classmate said, "Coz only the fittest survive."

I never forgot that particular sentence.

I'm very terrible. I apply that theory to everything. If an attached guy asked me out for a date, I would agree. If he falls in love with me, thats the GF's biz for being not able to keep his heart. She should do something to improve herself. I wun make him break with his gf or anything like that, but if he discovers that there are better women out there than his gf, then too bad for the girl.

She should have bought more lacy underwear. Coz only the fittest survive. LOLz

- I will make Delifrance's staff smarter. I dunno whats wrong with the management. Itz totally terrible. Maybe they are just very angry ppl in general and they want to make every other person pissed as well.

This is what happened.

Some time ago delifrance had this promotion for itz Hawaiian chicken baguette. It costs an amazingly cheap $2. Meanwhile take note that the usual Chicken baguette/croissant costs $4.20, a $2.20 increase.

Me: "Can I change the baguette of the Hawaiian chicken meal to a croissant?"

Staff: "Yesh, but that will cost $4.20"

Me: "Hmmmm... How much does a croissant cost by itself, plain?"

Staff: "It is $1.00"

Me: "Okie why not u just keep the baguette. I will purchase another croissant by itself and u put the Hawaiian chicken filling inside okie?"

Staff: "That would be $4.20."

Me: "Huh? No no I buy a new croissant, which costs $1.00, and u put the Hawaiian chicken filling into it instead of the Baguette. It will be $3.00"

Staff: "Huh, no mdm, it will be $4.20"

Me, about to tear hair out: "No! U dun understand me! It will be $3.00!"

Staff: *traumatized by the sudden usage of brain cells which has been stagnant for so long*

Manager: "Whats the matter, mam?"

I repeated my orders clearly and slowly.

Manager: "That will be $4.20, mam"

Me: "Oh fuc.."

My guy friend, interrupting: "Okie give her the $4.20 meal please."

I was holding up the queue.

Me, to manager: "If I'm paying the $4.20, I would like the normal chicken filling instead of the Hawaiian chicken filling."

Manager: "Yeah I am putting in the Hawaiian chicken filling for u mam."

And he proceeds to do that. I can only grind my teeth between the convulsions of anger I got.

My guy friend paid for the meal, still smiling at the manager as if I was the stupid one kicking up a big fuss, complete with an obvious "Please forgive her, she is still a child" look on his face.

Guys all tell me the same thing when I tell them this story.

"Only $1.20 difference, pay will die meh. So paiseh, so many ppl staring."

Gals say,
"Wah lau damn stupid. Which outlet! Ur that guy friend very irritating to pull u away."

Paiseh or not is besides the point. The point is that if I give up without making them understand me, it would seem as if I'm the stupid one. And I am not being understood! It is irritating! I would rather pay $1.20 to the toilet auntie than to Delifrance for being so dumb.

Yesterday this happened.

2-persons-meal
Includes One deli potato, One chicken baguette, One Soup of the day which has garlic bread with it, One peach tartlet.

PY and Xf wanted to share the 2 persons meal. I just wanted a plain Deli potato, no meals.

"Can I have a 2-persons meals and one more Deli potato?"

Manager: "Ok thats 3 deli potatoes?"

PY: "No no, just 2, with one baguette"

Meanwhile a guy poured a soup out and put it on a tray beside one Deli potato and passes it to the manager.

Manager, showing us the tray: "Okie so this is one meal by itself, right?"

Me: "Huh I didnt say I want the meal so how does the soup come about?"

Manager: *reconfirmed the orders and got it right after 2 tries*

PY: "You didnt give us our garlic bread."

If I am god, I will make all Delifrance's staff smarter. I got phobia of ordering from Delifrance liao.

Ah... The blog entry is getting long again. I better stop here. Tonight going to Milieu with June, and maybe PY and XF. Maybe I can get some Zao Geng photos for u all to see again! Hahaha...

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